Where does time go

Not Why does time go so fast, but where does it go?  Where does it all end up when we run out of it?

These two wonderful gentleman finished their time.

My dad and my brother.

One had a long full life and one had so much of his life ahead of him.  So many things left undone and left unsaid.

When we were growing up my dad was not a quiet man, if he was angry everyone knew it, but he loved us and we knew that too.  Keith on the other hand, was one of the quietest men I ever knew.  Come to think of it, my other brother is a quiet man too.  I wonder if it skips a generation?  Quietly good, that's what I think when I think of Keith.  Not a mean bone in his body, not a cruel thought in his head.  A wickedly dry sense of humor, and a darn good cribbage game.

I have no regrets about the manner in which we all ever said goodbye, we all aways said "love you"

and meant it.  Yet so many regrets for the time unspent by Keith.

Time with his wife and daughters that meant the world to him.

Time with his two beautiful granddaughters.

 

 

His first granddaughter, and his first time seeing and holding her.

He was visiting his daughters in California and texted me this wonderful picture because I hadn't ever met this sweet little peanut.

 

His youngest granddaughter, loving grampa too.

This was just days before he left us.

My wonderful sister in law texted this one to me.

I'm so grateful for all the texts between us, and yet that is one of the things I miss most.

With me in WI and him in Maryland, I would always let him know when it snowed or was "snot freezing cold" because he totally understood that!

We would text through football games with our favorite team, we would text just to stay in touch.

It never failed to make me smile to see his name pop up on my phone, and he invariably started with "hi lil sis"

He never called me that growing up, so it made me smile an awful lot now. 

I already miss him more than I could have imagined.

 

I hope he is playing cribbage with dad.  There must be cribbage in heaven right?

 

January was just a blur of snow and cold weather here

Even these pictures are from two years ago because I can't seem to make my camera talk to my lap top.  Honestly though, even though the snow is the same this year, these are much prettier than any I could take now, see all these trees.

gone.

None of them exist anymore. 

Wait! the one in the middle here does exist yet. It's the only one around the house that is left.

I'm thrilled that ONE was saved.  The big guy is not so thrilled, he refers to it as "that stinkin Chestnut"  True it does make a dreadful mess both when the blossoms fall, because they are SUPER sticky, and when the zillions of chestnuts fall, then lose their prickery covers, then stay in the yard FOREVER.  But I don't care on whit! It's a TREE!

And it's a decent SIZE tree!

Anyway, this winter has been so looooong.  It seems like we either have frigid temps or tons of snow.

What can you expect in Wisconsin in January, I know.  I know.

It just feels now like spring is decades off. 

And we are supposed to get more snow today, again.

 

Time to dream about gardening, and planting flowers and shrubs and TREES all over the yard,

Oh I think I really NEED this pond and gazebo and bridge.

 

 

and perhaps this little area....

 



 

 

 Oh, yes, a flower seed bag to carry all my gardening ideas in!

Perfect!!



One of my most memorable presents was sort of re-gifted to me. I have a small collection of teapots that we have picked up over the years. I used to put them all out on display, but a clumsy cat stopped that practice years ago. One in particular was pretty adorable, it was a momma bear dressed up in a long dress, apron and moppet hat, and holding a baby bear. It looked pretty cute at Christmas time when I would put it out next to my Santa bear teapot. I don't remember now how it got broken, but it did and I put it out to be sent to the dump with the trash. I felt bad, but I learned long ago with 4 kids and several pets in the house at any given time, that things are going to break and you just have to remember what's important, so I felt bad, but not horrible. That next Christmas I opened a fairly heavy box from Becky and Vanessa. Inside was my bear teapot glued back together as best they could. Yes, I cried. It means more to me fixed than it ever did when it was whole. I still display it at Christmas and the obvious cracks and glue make it even more special. I suppose it's more like me now than ever.



Christmas tends to make me feel rather reflective, I think part of it is hanging all the ornaments on the tree from Christmases past.  They all bring back some memory and then those memories poke other memories and pretty soon a person (okay me) has spent the last hour daydreaming.

 

Thinking more about gifts and ones that are remembered years later...

 

Unfortunately our oldest daughter has a memorable Christmas for a crummy reason. With 4 daughters to buy for, I tended to pick things up throughout the year if the occasion presented itself. A good idea, right? Well it would be if I had taken some time to list who I had gotten for and what I had gotten them, or noticed how many boxes were labeled for each child. Unfortunately that one Christmas, she got the short end of the present stack, and even worse, her dad and I had planned a funny surprise for her. Tired of loaning her my fingernail clippers we had gotten her a pair and to be "hilarious" we had put them in a HUGE box with tons of tissue paper. Well, her sisters had made quite the haul that year for what ever reason and she had a few small things, then came this big box. Yes, you may guess how disappointed she was with those clippers when her sisters all had clothes and toys and such and she had a pathetically small pile in front of her and a lousy pair of fingernail clippers. We both learned some lessons that year. I learned to make a list of each gift as I bought it and she learned that mom will overcompensate in a personal shopping trip to make up for the mistake! We had a mother daughter trip to Maurice's that January.



Christmas gifting

 

 

Isn't it funny the gifts you remember, and the reasons you remember them?

 Every Christmas it's been the same, how do I find or make just the absolute perfect gift for each person I'm giving to? The years of gifts for 4 daughters a husband, parents, in laws, nieces & nephews, neighbors, friends... become a blurr. So many packages so many wrappings. Looking back I'm realizing that most of those gifts so carefully chosen or made are probably completely forgotten, with just a few exceptions, some good and sadly, some pretty bad also! Daughter number 2 probably remembers best a teapot we gave her when she discovered her love of tea. Not because it was such a beautiful pot, or especially valuable, but because of the pathetic wrapping job. I could not find a box to fit it properly, so I threw caution to the winds and simply wrapped it snugly with paper, being careful to go around the handle inside and out, the spout and probably even the lid. It was pretty obvious to the observer what it was, so the game of "what's inside this package?" was kind of lame for her. Still, I think that might be her most memorable gift.

Do you ever feel like you can't possibly deserve the blessings you have?  I feel that way so much.  We have a sturdy house- it certainly proved itself this summer with the tornado.  Plenty of food, often too much food.  A loving wonderful family and good friends.  We have  jobs that help us pay for everything, though I have to admit, there are more times than not that I am not so very grateful for my job.  I'd love to spend all my time at home with the cats and dog, sewing or painting or cooking or any number of more pleasurable activities than dealing with lawyers and insurance companies and computers.  Still, I really have nothing to complain about.  My job is in no way dangerous, and my working conditions are comfortable.

 

This time of year, I think makes us remember even more how much we have.

This time of year I tend to keep dollar bills in my pockets because I never want to pass by a Salvation Army kettle and not put anything in.  I love it when there are kids volunteering as ringers, or special needs groups who are giving their time.  But the most wonderful ringer of all

stands on the corner next to a coffee shop and across from the library in our town.  He has the most fantastic attitude.  If you put a dollar in his bucket he sings your praises as if you had given $100.  If you happen to give more, he still proclaims very loudly how absolutely wonderful you are and what a blessing you are.  Last year it was terribly cold one day and he was still standing there outside the warm up shed they have for him, so I gave him a hot chocolate and a cookie along with my money.  He was so effusive in his thanks that you would think I had saved him from starvation.

Today, I pulled over next to him and handed a 5 dollar bill out my window.  He lavished me with thanks and said, "it's been a slow day, but now you have turned the tide!!  It's going to pick up from here out!  You are so generous I could stand here in my stocking feet and not feel the cold one bit! You stay here I'll watch the traffic and let you know when it's safe for you to pull out."

 

See what I mean? 

Of course it's all for a good cause, but what else could make you feel so  great, and better than a dozen other things I could spend the money on.

God bless that man.



Gray November

 November's sky is chill and drear,
November's leaf is red and sear.
- - - Sir Walter Scott "Marmion"

 

No warmth, no cheerfulness, no healthful ease,
No comfortable feel in any member -
No shade, no shine, no butterflies, no bees,
No fruits, no flowers, no leaves, no birds,
November!
- - - Thomas Hood

 



November always seemed to be the Norway of the year.
- - - Emily Dickinson



November is the most disagreeable month in the whole year.
- - - Louisa May Alcott

 

How sad would be November if we had no knowledge of the spring!
- - - Edwin Way Teale